Randomly Thinking...

At age 24 I'm still not sure what I want to do or become. A lot of my time ...well going on  5years has been chasing someone around that I really need to leave alone. Sometimes I tell myself today is the last day I'm going to see him and then I'll leave and the conversation will get good throughout the week and next thing you know hes asking me you coming down next weekend. Honestly if I wasn't up here every weekend I would be at somebody's house...forcing myself to be there because deep down inside that's not where i really want to be. I am a strong believer or doing what your heart tells you to do.. whether its right or wrong its your heart. If I have a strong feeling about something I act off it. Always been that way and I don't think that will change. Listening to my heart has got me running around in circles over one man. I ask myself all the time what the fuck are you doing here??? I know I need some alone time but when i am alone I'm depressed and bored and sometimes crazy. I'll never get into detail about some of the thoughts that go through my  mind...you might think im crazy.....